Profile – Piers Cruickshank

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Gentleman_in_bowlerPiers is the only child of a stock-broker (Thomas) and a circus trapeze artiste (Paige) . He was born and raised in Godalming in Surrey where he attended the local Strawberry Fields Primary School. At the age of 11 he was sent away to the Blue Blazes boarding school in Gloucestershire. At that school he quickly gained a reputation as a fixer, making up for his less than stellar physical abilities with a sharp mind and a persuasive personality. He did well in most subjects, but was particularly good at the harder social sciences. He passed all of his exams and was offered a place at Manchester University to study Law. He graduated three years later with a first and moved to London to pursue his chosen career as a lawyer.

While he is an eloquent person in most areas of his life, he finds it virtually impossible to speak to members of the opposite sex. He always becomes flustered and embarrassed around women and as a result of this, soon gave up on the idea of ever having a partner. That all changed the day he blew up his washing machine by attempting to (quite literally) launder some fake money one of his dodgier clients had given him. Forced to use the launderette down the street, he put his dirty clothes in a machine that had been used, but not yet emptied and turned a machine load of ‘whites’ into ‘pinks’. The owner of the ruined clothes was Sarah Bradley and, against all odds, they seemed to hit it off. They began dating that very evening.

Prior to his untimely demise, Piers principle interests were:

  • Faking knowledge of  English Premier League soccer in a vain attempt to fit in with ‘blokes’
  • Always choosing the slowest queue in the supermarket
  • Riding his racing bicycle down country lanes
  • The Antiques Roadshow
  • Avoiding paying any tax
  • His full and complete collection of ‘Now that’s what I call …’ compilation CDs  including the extremely rare ‘Now that’s what I call music 4’.


» Character Profiles » Profile – Piers Cruickshank
On March 12, 2016

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